Every Hijabi has a Story

Hajar Sakhi, a Rhodes College student from Nashville, was working at a fast-food restaurant in high school. One day, a customer looked at her wearing a uniform visor over her headscarf and started laughing. He left without ordering.
"My manager said, 'You're lucky we hire your kind,'" Sakhi said.


Irem Khan, a Rhodes student and White Station High grad, was with her mother at a gas station one day. They had just left a holiday celebration. As they were gassing up their Honda, a man next to them asked if the gas was running low because it was being used to burn more Qurans.
"He started laughing and began to make more snide remarks, indirectly at us, claiming that if those 'Maazlems' could do 9/11 to us, we could do whatever to them," Khan said.


Lettia Shaw, the daughter of an Alabama Baptist, was in her Cordova front yard when two guys driving by in a truck started shouting obscenities at her. "Until my husband stood up and they saw him, at which point they shut up," Shaw said.


Those were some of the stories told this week by Muslim women in Memphis who have chosen -- for personal and religious reasons -- to wear hijabs, or headscarves, in public.
The Hijabis, who spoke at separate events Monday evening at the University of Memphis and Tuesday evening at Rhodes College, say they are used to dirty looks and disdainful comments. But lately, they are feeling a bit more anxiety.


Last week, a Hijabi in California, a 32-year-old mother of five, died after being severely beaten in her home by a killer who left a note that reportedly said, "Go back to your own country. You're a terrorist."


Just about every Hijabi has heard the T-word and other forms of verbal abuse. All have felt threatened in some way. But the Hijabis who spoke this week about their experiences said they never have been physically attacked, or knew any Hijabis who had.


"Memphis is better than most places," said Noor Eltayech, a Cordova High grad who helped organize Tuesday's "Hijabi for a Day" event at Rhodes. "There's a lot more tolerance here. Most people here treat us with respect. But what happened in California has all of us more concerned."


Eltayech, Khan and Sakhi are the only Hijabis at Rhodes. On Tuesday, they were just three among dozens. More than 100 female students and professors at Rhodes wore hijabs on campus -- to raise awareness about why Muslim women choose to cover their heads, and as a show of interfaith tolerance and solidarity.


About 100 male students and faculty joined in by wearing brimless kufi caps.


"It's really hot," said Hannah Breckenridge, a sophomore and Baptist from Memphis who wore a hijab Tuesday for the second time in her life. The first time was two summers ago at an Interfaith Youth Core meeting in Atlanta, where a man spit on her as she was walking down the street.


"It was scary," said Breckenridge, who brought the "Hijab for a Day" idea to campus. "We're doing this because we want people to realize that behind every hijab is a real person."


Eltayech said some non-Muslim students initially opposed the event, saying they view the hijab as a symbol of male dominance and oppression. But Hijabis in Memphis say it's just the opposite.
"It's a woman's choice to cover or not," said Eltayech, whose parents are from Jordan and who decided to wear a scarf at age 13. She wore a hijab while playing soccer at Cordova High.


"No man has ever told me to cover my head. I chose to cover my head because of my faith and because I want people to see me for my brains, my intellect, and my behavior first, not my hair or my body."
The Quran advises women and men to dress modestly. Some Islamic scholars say modesty requires a woman to cover her entire body, including her hands with gloves and her face with a veil. Others say a woman can leave her face, hands and feet uncovered, and cover her head with a scarf. Still others just say a woman should not dress like a prostitute.


"We wear the hijab because God wants us to," said Shaw, a mother of five who talked about her Hijabi experiences at a program about Islam on Monday evening at the U of M.
"God loves women and has enjoined modesty through hijab in order to protect herself from harm, injury and mischief. She wears it knowing it gives her dignity, beauty and respect."


Not all Hijabi stories are scary.


"One day, I was at Wolfchase mall at the carousel, and a little girl about 3 or 4 was with her mother," Shaw said. "When she saw me, she turned around and asked her mom, 'Mommy, is that Jesus' mother?' "

Courtesy: http://www.commercialappeal.com

Position of a Mother

There was a young man, before he was a Muslim; he lived with his mother until he was about 18 years old. Then he moved out of his home and lived in a different place on his own. During those days, he met some Muslims and became very close friend to them.
Eventually he himself became a Muslim after learning about the beautiful religion of Islam from them. He made an effort every day to learn more and more about Islam. One day, he came to learn about the benefits of being good to one’s parents. After knowing this, he decided to visit his mother whom he did not visit for many years. He bought some flowers and fruits for her on his way. His mother was very pleased to see him after so long. He started spending lots of time with his mother on a regular basis. During his visits, he would stare at his mother and tears would roll down from his eyes. The mother noticed this happening many times and asked him one day the reason, why he visits her so much all of a sudden and why he cries. He told her about how he became a Muslim and that the position of a mother in Islam is very high.
He also told her about the reward he gets for looking at her.
But while looking at her, he cries because the mother is not a Muslim and would not be able to save herself if she dies in this state. The mother immediately recognized the beauty of Islam and became a Muslim.

Hijab Reform in the Month of Ramadhan

Ramadan – the month of spiritual reform. It is the month that I finally decided to wear the hijab. My thoughts were full of worries about what would happen if I began to wear it; I would be recognized as a Muslim everywhere I go. Having grown up amongst non-Muslims whilst living in the west made me afraid to express my culture, because I felt I would not be accepted.

Throughout my school years I experienced different forms of discrimination and intolerance, much of it enforcing my fear to wear the hijab. Senior year came and a feeling of emptiness spread inside me. I thought maybe there was something worldly I was missing out on. I knew I was in need of a spiritual change, and that I must begin to wear the hijab, but I ignored it.

I relied on worldly matters to take the feelings of emptiness away. If only I had known of the Hadith of Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (peace be upon him) in which he said, "This world is like seawater, the more you drink the more you get thirsty." And let us think, what is the effect of seawater on the one who drinks it? There are elements in it which cause insanity. Indeed, relying on worldly things to quench our thirst and solve our problems will cause us nothing but distress.

Throughout those days at school I knew I was committing sin, and I can even remember a moment where I could feel Allah watching me directly. My heart was saddened, but Shaytan told me to ignore it; he was trying to convince me that this world will provide me with all that I needed. Yet Imam Sadiq's words will always ring true - it will never be enough.

As senior year came to an end I felt as if I was awakening form my slumber; my eyes were finally opening, and regret for my actions consumed me. I began to repent to Allah asking Him to bring me back to His Mercy and Love. I gave up music, and this time seriously considered wearing the hijab. I wanted the emptiness to disappear and my thirst to be quenched.

It was in the month of Ramadan that Allah helped me gain the courage to wear it. He allowed me to meet some very encouraging sisters who impacted my life greatly. I began to observe hijab in the second week of Ramadan, and I knew instantly that this was what my heart had been yearning for.

The day I put it on, not a single person spoke against me for wearing it, and it was then that I realized all my fears were whispers of Shaytan. My friends did not question me, and instead I felt I had gained respect. I fell in love with my hijab.

But putting the hijab on was only the beginning. I soon realized it is not just a piece of cloth on my head, but a spiritual journey to the Almighty; I could feel my love of Allah increasing daily. He soon blessed me to go on Ziyarat to visit Lady Zainab (peace be upon her), and upon my return I found within myself a strong craving to gain Islamic knowledge. I began learning what I did not know, and things I once thought I knew.

Let us make this Ramadan one in which we abandon our sinful ways and ask Allah to help us gain nearness to Him in our hearts. To my sisters who are struggling to wear the hijab: if you sincerely ask Allah for help, while also making the effort to change, He will certainly help you in the best of ways. And to my brothers: do remember to lower your gaze.

This world is only temporary, while Love for Allah is eternal. Love for Him is the best of feelings and the highest form of love, for He wants nothing from us, but everything for us - so let us develop the God-consciousness in our hearts to practice all that He has made obligatory, and guard ourselves from all that He has made forbidden.

By Sister AMIRA ALSAREINYE